


Remember?

by cicerhoe



Category: Ancient History RPF, Classical Greece and Rome History & Literature RPF
Genre: M/M, What am I doing, this is a mess, write the fic you wanna see in the world i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-23 18:16:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10724613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cicerhoe/pseuds/cicerhoe
Summary: There was a time before all of this, when you might've said that you loved him. Where did it all go wrong?





	Remember?

**Author's Note:**

> There's no Cicero/Catilina fic. I have to fix that. I'm obligated. So here's this.

There was a time before all of this.

You remember that, don't you? A time before you went with your better judgment (was it your better judgment?) and refused to aid Catilina like you said you might. There was a time, you remember, where you called him your friend. Your lover, even (but could you even call it that?).

There was a time. _There was a time._

Don't you remember that?

There was a time before you tore his name to pieces in front of the entire Senate. There was a time when you said his name and it didn't sound like you were spitting poison from your mouth. There was a time where your words were gentle and your lips were only used to kiss his, and _oh gods,_ do you remember how it felt? Do you remember how he gripped your hips and held you closer and how it felt like he could consume you with each passing second? How you _wanted_ to be consumed?

Of course you remember.

You remember that time. You remember when you heard the name Lucius Sergius Catilina and didn't fear for your life. There was a time when his name sent thrills rather than chills down your spine. But things do not always turn out how one wishes they would, do they? Love can turn bitter. Bitterness seeps through veins and tastes rotten. Bitterness comes out in the form of raised voices and turned backs and even harsher words. You _wanted_ to defend him, you _wanted_ to run alongside him as consul, and yet!

And yet...

Bitterness rots the soul, wraps its fingers around the beating heart and squeezes until there is nothing left. Perhaps there was something a bit cathartic in all of this. There was an odd satisfaction in seeing him isolated from the rest of Senate (even if you feared for the safety of Rome, deep down, you knew he wasn't the monster you were painting him to be, didn't you?).

But you _did_ believe it. You did believe he was Rome's destruction. There was nothing personal about this (certainly not, you are a consul of Rome). Such a man as Catilina would bring nothing but pain and destruction and utter ruin!

And save Rome you did from its ruin. The conspirators were put to death (“They have lived!”) and Catilina? He was dead, too. Died in battle...but why did you feel so hollow?

Maybe because, despite it all, you did remember. You remembered the simpler times, the better times, the times where you could've loved each other, but maybe it was never _quite_ that. You remembered. You did.

Bitterness turns to sorrow, but you must press on. Rome has been saved. You, her savior. Now keep that title. Hold it well.

Your life has only just begun.

 


End file.
